I'm Already Struggling

It's already hard for me to continue to write for this blog. I'm not entirely sure why that is but I'm going to take a stab at several reasons.
The first reason being that a blog post is a creative undertaking. You have to think about what you're going to write and how you're going to write it. You also have to think about the reader. Are they going to like it? What if they don't? What if they do? I feel putting yourself out there creatively is much harder than anything else because firstly, it's very subjective and secondly, there's a little bit of yourself in said creative act. Therefore, if someone deems your creative endeavor bad, it feels like they have also condemned a little piece of you to be bad and that's a very frightening and disheartening concept. Nonetheless, here I am and I don't know if this is good or bad yet.
Not knowing where this blog might be going is another concept I find hard to deal with. Generally, the end is always in sight. The semesters over, I just have to make it till then. College ends in two and a half years and then I can move on. Anything so tangible being so uncertain is a little hard to wrap my head around. Of course, I have no followers as of yet, so I wouldn't be letting anybody down if I stopped. Well, except myself.
Lastly, and I think I'm going to make a whole blog post about this next week, I'm an internet kid. I grew up in a world where anything I wanted to know or find out about was at my fingertips. I could always find something funny to watch or something cool to learn about. Basically, the internet has always been easy. This blog makes the internet hard.
We'll have to see where this goes.
Scroll along for the ride!
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The Happily Ever After Complex

So, you watched the final episode of How I Met Your Mother. If you didn't, stop reading because I'm about to spoil everything for you.
I watched the final episode, and like most humans with a heart, I was annoyed. I desperately wanted Ted to actually stop chasing after Robin and move on with his life already. I wanted Robin and Barney to work out, and not just because I'm in love with Neil Patrick Harris and I want his on-screen relationships to work out just as much as I want his off screen relationship to work out. Personally, I was pulling for Robin and Barney to have a long and happy marriage with a surprise baby. I also didn't want The Mother to be DEAD. Essentially, I wanted everyone to live happily ever and that just the problem. No one really lives happily ever after. Ever.
I feel like most of our television shows and movies depict everyone living happily ever after. The hero accomplishes the long arduous task. The boy gets the girl. The girl gets the boy. Sure, some semi-important character, Fred Weasley, Dumbledore, Prim, Augustus, might have died, but the Dark Lord was vanquished, the corrupt government was toppled, love triumphed. There is rarely an ending of any story that leaves everyone in despair.
How I Met Your Mother took all the growth and development the characters accomplished through the years and threw it away. Barney regressed to his womanizing ways, Ted never let go of Robin, Robin bought back all the dogs she'd gotten rid of.  I think, myself included, that everyone was annoyed that the writers threw out the progress but, what everyone was more annoyed about, was the fact that Ted and The Mother and Robin and Barney never got to live happily ever after. Life is unhappy and hard enough without having to see the people you live through vicariously onscreen suffer as much as you do. However, I think the writers of HIMYM were really onto something. Life isn't flowers and roses and happiness. I don't know what it's about, but it isn't that. So there's no reason why our entertainment needs to reflect that. In the end, what's more thought provoking and what can you take away lessons you can apply to your life? An unattainable happily ever, or a real life scenario you can truly relate too and struggle with?
Scroll Away!
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College: The Ups and Downs

Here I am. About to finish my third semester of college. I'm actually supposed to be working on several different assignments, all of which are due this week, but I'm listening to One Direction, surfing the internet, and writing this blog post instead. Go me. But seriously guys (speaking to the huge number of people that are reading this, of course) college is a tedious time. Don't get me wrong. Higher education has its perks like being on your own and being able to do your own thing. See, that's exactly my problem. I'm on my own. I don't mind being able to do things for myself but college is a very lonely time in my life. I'm a naturally talkative and outgoing person in a group, but that doesn't mean that I don't feel like I have no one to talk to and no one to share anything with. College is truthfully a very selfish time in your life. Think about it. You use other people's money (generally) to work on a career path that will be all your own. Other people's problems don't matter to you so much because your struggles, will I get an A or a B on the next exam?? are so much more important. Life doesn't give you a whole lot to be proud of or invest in and you're too busy trying to pass to go find out what you can invest and be proud in. Personally, I believe college to be very overrated and over priced and, while I'm trying to make the most out of this experience, it's hard to keep it from being an unproductive and isolating time. But those are just my two cents.
Keep on scrolling!
A.

I Have No Idea What I'm Doing

I've started this blog because I need a creative outlet that has the potential for being read by someone else. I want to be held accountable for what I say and do on this blog because at this stage in my life so much of what I do is frivolous and not meaningful. College is a time in your life where you are frequently doing a whole lot of nothing and I go crazy like that. I need something to put creative energy into. I paint a lot and that's great but I'm very self conscious about what I paint so I don't really share it with people or put myself in a position where I can get any feedback from anyone. I'm also not very good at the internet so I couldn't Tumblr or Youtube or anything like that. I believe blogging could be very beneficial for me because I have a lot to say and, if you're reading this when you're probably supposed to be doing something else, you have time to read. With that said, welcome to my blog. I hope to be able to spread positivity and give my frank opinions on the world around me.

Scroll on back up!

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