Hi guys! Welcome back!
I'd like to begin this post with an apology for my extended and mostly self inflicted hiatus. I would like to explain in a roughly two part description, without being too wordy, what it is like to be an artist.
I write, this blog, short stories, books (though I haven't finished any yet) and I also paint. In short, I'm not sure I much deserve the title of artist, but I suppose I am one, as I don't believe there's a better word to describe what I do. In even shorter terms, I create. I transform something which only existed in my mind into a physical form, words, paint. Then, unless I hate what I have created, eventually I show it to someone else. Someone else being usually my family or close friends. I would say what I create is generally well received by whomever I show it to and usually is accompanied by a comment along the lines of "How do you do that? I could never do that." I'm never much sure how to take this comment because 1) Have you ever tried? and 2) What I did wasn't impossible because I did it. When I, or another artist for that matter, show work to someone, there's always a multi-level processes. We, I speak for them too because I'm assuming they are human and not always sure of themselves, the artist, see far more than the viewer could ever imagine. I firstly see the idea I had in my head, which never transposes itself to the canvas or the page exactly the way I wanted it to. Then I see the flaws. I could have put a different color here, or used another word there, or maybe I should have held my brush differently in that place? I shudder to think what my canvases would look like if someone took that digital paint stripping technology to them see what's under the layer of paint you, the viewer, can see.
John Greene, an incredibly well known and published author, once admitted he often feels insecure about his writing, and the general public (ie Twitter, Tumblr) freaked out. They looked to all his success, all the ~feelings~ he made them feel, and they couldn't understand how he could be so insecure about his writing. But I completely understand where he's coming from.He knows what he wanted his work to be. He can see which words he could have used to convey his idea better. I have exactly the same problem. And I don't have millions of people reading and critiquing my work. So that, lovelies, is more or less the first part of why I have been away from my blog for so long. I want my blog posts to be a certain way and I feel they aren't and sometimes they make me incredibly irate and I have to step away from my laptop so I will continue to have a laptop.
That being said, it's amazing when I create something other people can read or view and like. It's a wonderful feeling stepping back from a painting or a story and thinking "Damn, I did that. I made something other people can enjoy." Yes, I'll see the imperfections and I know that what I wanted the piece to be in my head is not how it came out, but sometimes it comes out different but still good and it's really extremely exciting.
Now I am going to read over my blog post for grammar mistakes and not let it anger me and then publish it. Creating is hard.
A.
"Art is never finished. Only abandoned." -Leonardo Da Vinci
